In the latest episode of “Who Wants to Tango with Tariffs?” our illustrious Commander-in-Chief, President Trump, has announced that American economic bigwigs will once again attempt to play nice with their Chinese counterparts. This riveting sequel is set to unfold next Monday in the glamorous locale of London. Forget Hollywood; this is the real blockbuster.
Leading the American charge are Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, and the trade wizard Jamieson Greer. Meanwhile, the Chinese side remains as mysterious as the contents of a fortune cookie. Last time, Vice Premier He Lifeng was the dragon in the room, but who knows which poker-faced bureaucrat will show up this time?
These talks come at a delicate moment for the global economy—because when isn’t it a delicate moment? Supply chain disruptions and uncertainty are the new black, after all. And in a stroke of genius, the U.S. paused some tariffs back in April to give negotiations a chance. Who knew the key to economic prosperity was to tax the hell out of your trading partners and then maybe sort of, kind of, pause?
The tariffs, which an enlightened U.S. trade court recently declared illegal, remain a fabulous monument to the art of negotiation. The Trump administration now has the Herculean task of convincing a federal appeals court why these tariffs should persist. Perhaps they should consider using interpretive dance or a magic show to make their case.
President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, recently dialed up President Xi in a bid to break the stalemate threatening to unravel the so-called trade truce from Geneva. Under this breathtakingly generous truce, the U.S. graciously reduced tariffs on Chinese imports to a mere 30 percent from 145 percent. Meanwhile, China reciprocated with a magnanimous cut from 125 percent to 10 percent on American goods. Can you feel the love?
But alas, things have been less rosy of late. China decided to put the brakes on mineral exports to the U.S., and the Trump administration, not to be outdone, floated the idea of revoking visas for Chinese students with the audacity to study anything important. Who needs higher education when you have tweets?
The stalwart Mr. Bessent, leading the U.S. negotiations, conceded that talks had hit a snag, hinting that the two leaders would need to save the day. And save it they did, with Mr. Trump taking to social media to declare that China had “violated” their agreement, while Beijing accused Washington of sabotage. It’s like watching Shakespeare, but with more tariffs and fewer iambic pentameters.
In a plot twist worthy of a soap opera, Mr. Trump later proclaimed that his phone call with Mr. Xi was not only productive but resulted in a “very positive conclusion for both Countries.” It’s amazing how a 90-minute chat can turn a trade war into a love fest.
So, as we prepare for the next round of this economic arm-wrestling match, one must ponder: Are we witnessing the art of the deal or the art of the surreal? Stay tuned for the next thrilling chapter in the saga that makes Game of Thrones look like a picnic.
