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NewsChina Trade 'Deal': U.S. Masterclass in Running Circles

China Trade ‘Deal’: U.S. Masterclass in Running Circles

China Trade 'Deal': U.S. Masterclass in Running Circles
In the grand theater of global economics, the U.S. and China have once again graced us with a riveting episode of “Let’s Pretend We’re Doing Something.” After a couple of days spent in a high-stakes staring contest, they’ve emerged with what they’re calling a “handshake agreement.” It’s like watching a toddler try to put together a jigsaw puzzle—adorable, but mostly pointless.

This latest charade is supposedly an attempt to step back from the economic abyss that was largely self-inflicted. Remember when President Trump decided to play tariff bingo with China? Well, now, in a stroke of genius, they’ve decided to peel back some of those very tariffs. They’re essentially selling us the novelty of “returning to a time when things weren’t completely messed up,” and expecting applause. Bravo!

The main achievement of this masterful diplomatic ballet? We’re back to where we were months ago. Myron Brilliant (ironically named, I assure you), from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, aptly describes this as “negotiating in circles.” Yes, Myron, it’s a merry-go-round, but one that’s on fire and spinning out of control. At least we’re consistent with our international policy of “escalate, de-escalate, repeat.”

And what groundbreaking changes do we have to celebrate from these talks? Tariffs will remain exactly as they are. But fret not, dear investors, for China might just let some minerals flow through the sieve of export restrictions. Meanwhile, the U.S. will graciously consider allowing Chinese students to grace American universities again. It’s a classic case of “you scratch my back, I’ll pretend to scratch yours.”

This entire debacle is reminiscent of the trade wars of yore. Remember the 1930s when protectionism was all the rage? That worked out splendidly, leading us right into the Great Depression. But hey, who needs history lessons when you have the unyielding confidence of a presidency that treats global trade like a high-stakes poker game?

The media will inevitably spin this as a step towards progress, but let’s not kid ourselves. This “deal” is about as sturdy as a house of cards in a hurricane. We are left to ponder whether this fleeting truce will last or crumble faster than you can say “Smoot-Hawley.”

So here we stand, with a fragile agreement that restores nothing more than a semblance of the status quo, while the real issues simmer beneath the surface. But fear not, for as long as there are politicians with egos to massage and economists with narratives to sell, we’ll never be short of these thrilling economic dramas. After all, what’s more exhilarating than watching a crisis unfold in slow motion?

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